Dear Author,

I never meant for this to happen. Really. The fame. The money. The presidency. I never wanted it. If only you had bothered to listen you would’ve understood. It was only for a god-damned homework assignment! How was I to know that I’d win? That I’d start shaking hands with important people? I wanted to disappear the instant I was told there’d be a ceremony. A fucking ceremony! I was just trying not to get detention and suddenly I had my face plastered all over the news. People called it revolutionary. Insightful. We both knew what it was. Plagiarism.

When the money started rolling in I used it to help my family. If you had asked for a share I would’ve happily given you the majority. When the fans pushed me to run for office I would’ve had you as my running mate without question. But no. Bitterness got the best of you. Jealousy clouded your judgement. You didn’t want what I offered. You wanted credit.

By now I’m sure the ants have picked your bones clean. Wherever you are I’m sure you understand now. I finally had responsibilities. I had to protect them.